Can you believe I had just written a kick ass post, but somehow I accidentally hit the backspace button and lost the whole thing? UGH!!!
Of course I'm gonna try to recreate it, but it will never be the same as the original. Gimme a bit and I'll have it. Just so damn frustrating.
In the meantime, here are some Chris Farley baby pics...
Baby Anthony has just recently been cast to star in the sequel of Waterworld. He will be playing the younger version of Kevin Costners character. I think his official title is Tadpole... Here are some stills of his screen test.
Um, how do I explain it? Okay, I had my first projectile poop story. Actually it really didn't shoot out it just oozed out. YUMMY!!!
If you don't know by now, Baby Anthony likes to make fart faces and strains very hard to fart and poop. It's sort of like watching someone trying to bench more weight then they can. By saying that, you can pretty much tell when the deed is going down.
It's early in the morning. I'm finishing up giving Baby Anthony his bottle. Mommy is sleeping and Daddy is enjoying "his" time with the boy when...
Baby Anthony decides to squeeze a few out. No problem, it's not my first day at the rodeo. I've done this before. So I decide as the Big Daddy I am that I'll go change him. Let Mommy sleep.
I put him down, strip his cloths off, take off his diaper, clean his bum, grab the vaseline... Okay that sounds bad, but it's so he doesn't get diaper rash. I use the last baby wipe, yes the laaast baby wipe. Grabbing a new diaper I prepare to put it on him when I hear..
iiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, iiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, iiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
Uh Oh!
I look down and there it is. Baby Anthony's face is bright red. His face is starting to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's posing at a contest and then...
THERE IT IS!!! Poop and lots of it coming out of his bum. What was I supposed to do? I just let him finish. We started at one end of the changing table and I kept moving him backward so he wouldn't be lying in it. We ran out of room and he was sort of kiddy cornered in the back. Lots of menacing fecal matter. By the time he was done, the whole table was covered in poo, Baby Anthony had this proud look on his face like he just conquered Europe and Daddy wasn't quite sure what to do next.
Let me remind you I have nothing to clean him with. So I reach into him previously soiled diaper. Find a corner of a wipe that is clean. I wipe his little exit only hole and throw on a diaper. You haven't lived until you see your child poop in front of you. That is one thing I have up on Mommy right now.
The hardest part was not calling for Mommy to come watch because she is as sick and twisted as I am and would have found the whole thing funny as well. Seeing and hearing your 4 week old boy pooping like he's giving birth... AM I allowed to say it. Priceless. I thought it was cute.
Anyway, like any true playa Baby Anthony wanted to represent pooping East Coast Style...
For all the pooping babies on the East Coast...
