Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Kwik-E-Mart

Sometimes I like to go to Blockbuster to pick up some previously viewed DVDs. Long gone are the days of buying all the new releases at Best Buy for full price. Man I wasted so much money.

So the other day Catdoggg and myself decide to run into the new Blockbuster that just opened up down the street from us. I have one next to my store but lately their selections have sucked. I think it may result in the fact that they have NO CUSTOMERS!!

This "New" Blockbuster has two sections. Happy Day! Happy Day! 4 for $20 or 3 for $25. The 4 for $20 section were old movies or movies that came out recently that bombed faster than G. W. The 3 for $25 are really recently released movies, ie. Superman, X-Men, Da Vinci Code, BEERFEST!!!!, some girlie movies, you get the idea.

I was so overwhelmed that we did one of each. 4 crappy movies you wanted to see but didn't feel like wasting $10 at the theater. Also, 3 recent movies that I wanted to see but for some reason we couldn't get to. Plus, I still hate wasting $10 on a new movie if I don't do enough research on it to make sure I'm getting my money's worth. I did however pluck done the bills for the new James Bond movie though... How could you not???

So what is this post about?

Well, about an hour ago I just got done feeding Babydog and as usual I gate him in the family room and watch him run around destroying everything he touches, grabs, or knocks over. Today he liked the bottle of Tums cause when he holds them it shakes making tons of noise. However he did manage to open the lid and start to consume some. He seemed very happy about this. The list of things he picks up and plays with in a matter of minutes is astonishing. Too long of a list to list here.

I decide to throw in one of the crappy movies I wanted to see. That's right folks. the God Awful remake of The Poseidon Adventure. "Poseidon" Quite honestly the only reason I even got this was because I love to watch disaster films and more importantly. I really, really, really wanted to watch Stacy "Fergilicious" Ferguson die! It's not that I have anything against her. I mean I wouldn't throw her out of bed for smoking meth, but for some reason she really irritates me.

So the movie is going and it didn't take long for the bodies to start flying. Way to build up that character development Wolfgang. John Woo can do a better job than you and that's not saying much.

Anyway, Babydog walks by me and I smell something. I knew nobody was cooking in the kitchen cause I just came from there and nobody else was home. I kind of let it pass without much more of a thought until Babydog walks by me again.

WTF! I smell...Do I smell... Is that Curry?

I get down on my knees and grab his tiny bum and sniff. The things we do when we have kids. Low and behold, his ass smelled like curry.

Catdoggg loves Indian food. When she was pregnant she either ate that or pizza. I swear she was breastfeeding him curry in the beginning...

He had curry last night. I've got to admit, but the little guy loves the stuff. But I never thought that his shit would smell like curry. Well let me put it this way, I never thought it would smell delicious. I really thought for that brief moment that someone was cooking. I swear.

The only problem is that even though his ass/shit smells yummy, there is a ton of it to clean. Good job mommy. Thanks...

So I cleaned him, changed him, and put his sweet smelling ass down for his nap. I wonder if Indian babies asses smell like curry too. I gotta go now. I'm starting to get hungry.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

The New Adventures of WaterBoy....

Part of the reason I was up so early yesterday and went to the gym was we had Babydog's swimming lesson at 9am.

This is the 4th week of a 10 week course. He missed the last 2 because he was sick. It was going to be interesting to see how he would react in the pool.

So we decided to record it. Take a look for yourself. I Love it.... Note all the other parents staring at ThePapaDog and his aquatic son... Catdoggg was behind the camera...


WHY?

It's Sunday.

I've been up since 6:15!

So I can take 29 pills and make 3 specialty drinks 45 minutes before I go to the gym.

It helps maximize my workout and make me Strong, Like the Hulk... UH!

What the hell is wrong with me?

Friday, February 23, 2007

How About A Reach Around?

I went tanning yesterday. It's not because I am going to the Bahamas soon, even though it will help my pale, pasty skin, but because suddenly in the past year I developed psoriasis.

It took freaking 32 years for this annoying skin condition to rear its ugly head. I had an outbreak last October that grew for a month before I realized what it was. Yes, I'm a stubborn man and didn't seek medical attention earlier. Took a while to go away. Had to have UV treatments for months to squash it. Of course Costa Rica and Argentina helped out quite a bit.

I was sick of getting ass raped at my medical center for $25 for a minutes worth of time. Actually it took a while before I got to a minute. So I was paying $25 for 30 seconds in the beginning. 3 DAYS A WEEK! What does that work out too? $1.20 per second. I'm in the wrooooooong business.

So I joined a salon the other day because I noticed that I was starting to see some patches form a bit. $79 unlimited for a month. Nice deal considering what I was paying before hand.

It didn't take me long to introduce myself to the staff.

I walk in and they tell me that there is a wait for about 4 minutes. No prob. I sit down and I notice one of my customers next to me. We exchange pleasantries and he asks why I am here. I tell him, but say that it won't hurt considering I was going to the Bahamas soon. He proceed to tell me that he's going to Aruba with his wife and wants to get a base tan, blah, blah, blah...

This is what happened next.

Staff: "You guys are all set to go in."

Me: "Together?"

Other Guy: "um Ha."

Staff (smiling): "ya together."

Me: "Well great, but I like to use the lay down for this then because it's easier for me when I'm on top."

Other Guy (jaw dropped): .....

Staff (half smile): "um. Um."

Me (Bright Smile): "Do I still need to check in?"

Thursday, February 22, 2007

RIP DJ


This afternoon I heard on the radio that one of my favorite Celtic Legends passed away.

Dennis Johnson aka "DJ"

He helped bring two championships to Boston in 84 and 86. This was a time when I was growing up that the Celtics were kings. Basketball during that era was absolutely incredible. With the Celtics, Lakers, Pistons, Rockets, 76'ers, and Bulls toward the end. It was hard not to be a fan. 80's basketball will never be replaced.

I will never forget DJ. In fact last week after working out, I went down to the basketball court with Silent Steve to shoot some hoops. Halfway through I stopped at the free throw line and said to S.S. "Who am I?"

I then imitated DJ's free throwing ritual. I always did it when I was little. He takes the ball, bounces it three times in front of him slowly. Puts it against his belly, bounces it again, breathes, brings it up to his belly, rubs it like he's bloated from a huge dinner, his cheeks fill up with air and he lifts the ball, exhales and shoots...

It's always sad when someone passes away. It's especially sad when they are still so young. He was only 52. When Red Auerbach passed it was almost expected. He was up there in age and when you found it it wasn't a big surprise. Now that's two Celtic Legends in a years time.

Hey Big Guy! Give us a break for a little bit will ya!!!

My condolences go out to his family and also to the Celtic family. He gave me some wonderful memories growing up. He was the ultimate team player.

Rest in peace DJ.

Here is one of my favorite moments...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Big Gay AL

So I was watching South Park the other day and Big Gay Al came up in the episode. Little did I know Baby Anthony had crept into the room.

Next thing I know A4 is posing like this:



SKITTLES

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

No Time Like The Present...

With tax season and school vacation week I've found it very hard to get on this computer. Catdoggg being home this week, trying to get a minute on the computer is like trying to take a cheerio away from my son. Impossible. Right now she is on an errand, but the little guy is literally climbing my leg and screaming at me while I type this post. So it will be quick.

Lately Babydog has been a terror to feed. He wants his food, doesn't want his food. He wants his bottle, doesn't want his bottle. Wants toast, eggos, and cheerios but doesn't want them.

Do you know want he wants?

He wants to feed himself. Well, if that's what he wants, then that's what he'll get.

Today's menu-

MEATBALLS...

The Calm Before the Storm



And So It Begins...


I Love Meatballs!


CHEESE!!!


Enough Said


Now it got much worse than this. It was in his hair, his eyes, his ears, everywhere. If he didn't look like a mini version of Jabba The Hut I might have posted some of those...

Friday, February 16, 2007

No Girlie Man Needs Apply

Having a baby changes your life in so many ways. With those changes you have to make sacrifices. With those sacrifices you have to come to a realization that your #1 priority is your child. I could list a hundred things here, but on thing that I felt that was important to me and my child was to get healthier. Plus, the Catdoggg helped push me into it...Amazing how women can make you do things you would normally think of doing. Idle threats work really well...

So I quit smoking (AGAIN) Fellow smokers can back me up on how difficult that can be.

KIKI- you need to quit before we come to Australia.

I mean it's not as if I was in bad shape. I used to be a ranked tennis player when I was younger. I was always good at sports and have always maintained a high level of competitivness. Yes, I hate to lose. Plus, the Catdoggg gotz some guns on her and I can't have her show me up anymore. "Which way to the gun shoooow."

Oh and at the rate my son is growing and the fact he's as strong as an ox already I'll need all the help I can get...

So I have changed my diet somewhat and have made every effort to go to the gym on a daily basis. I even started to do a stacking program from my old EAS Body of Life days. But those days are behind me because that is such a huge commitment and I really don't want to do it. Instead I simplified it and am working in 6 to 12 week intervals.

I could never do steroids for the simple fact that I like my boys way too much. Even though they could use a little shrinkage. I wouldn't want to damage them. Plus, I don't need any help losing any more hair. Who the Fuck wants zits at 32 and I think I've found the right balance to keep my rage at bay so I don't need something to help trigger it for stupid things such as a leaf falling on my truck.

So with my HMB, Animal M Stacks, No-xplode, Muscle Milk, ZMA, BCAA, Whey, Glutamine I've made some pretty good gains. Being sick last week set me back a bit, but if anything that actually might have helped me.

Was 212 last Thursday. Got sick and was 200 on Monday. Now we know that being sick weight will come back faster then not, but if it did one thing was get rid of most of my belly fat. It was great. It was as if I was working my abs everyday for a month. I'll take what I can get on those, because quite honestly. I HATE AB WORK.

I'm mostly trying to trim the fat and to bulk up a little bit. Work on my cardio and be able to walk up a flight of stairs and not collapse at the top. To be honest I've always thought I was too skinny, but my mother always says, "You can never be too rich or too thin." Personally, I'd rather be too rich.

For Christmas Catdoggg asked me what I wanted and all I said was "Work-Out Gloves, and new Wrist Straps!" Little did I know was that was all I would get. Next time I'm gonna ask for shin pads and Hummer H2... Oh and I got the Family Guy Uncensored with the T-Shirt and Obey Me Stewie Hat. :)

What was the point of this post?

Oh yea..

I was reading my blogs when Catdoggg's Dad came in to tell me his car was stuck on the ice and he couldn't get it out.

"I wish him was here!"

I promptly jumped to my feet, ran upstairs, threw some clothes on, grabbed my NEW Work-Out Gloves and proceeded out the window shimming my way down the side of the house onto the driveway.

And there it was, his new hybrid stuck in some frozen tracks on the iceway. At first I thought he was going to help me, but he got in his car and stared at me. So I took a shot of Wheat Grass, found some good footing, and lowered my body into his front bumper and...

Nothing.

I do it again.

Nothing.

I stand up, wipe my brow and stare at his car as if its the cars's fault I'm not strong enough when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I notice a leaf falling onto my truck. I'm furious!!!

I get down and lift the front of his car off the ground and pushed it forward. It starts to move a bit. I got momentum. I lift it even higher and push even harder and I push it into oncoming traffic and what happens next? Some Blue Hair hits it!!!

I'm just kidding. I just get the car free!

He stares at me through the windshield and waves thank you. What do i do? I got down on my knees and did a muscle pose.

He laughed.

So the moral of the story is that working out and getting healthy and using NEW Work-Out gloves will help you save a hybrid in distress.

I can't wait until my back hurts tomorrow morning....

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Likes Peas In A Pod

I love my son. He is the cutest fucking thing in the world. It's disgusting, everything he does is so adorable. I love how he imitates every face we make... I better be careful with that in the future though.

He loves to be scared, loves it. His whole body tremors when you jump out at him, but he always has this shit eating grin on his face and laughs hysterically.

He loves to be chased. "I'm gonna get you, I'mmm gooonnnna geeeeet yooooou!" He runs like mad. Well, he runs as well as anyone who's in their second month of walking can, none the less, he motors.

He loves his yellow blankie. He will not go to sleep anywhere without it. When he's tired he'll pull it through his crib so he can dive bomb into it. If it's his bedtime and he's still messing around, all you have to do is grab it and hold it out like a Matador and he'll come charging toward it with a smile. Dive bombs into it, wraps it around himself and then inserts his thumb. Every time. So cute. Thank God he hasn't pull a full Linus yet and start dragging it around.

He loves phones and remote controls. Had I known this earlier I could have saved a fortune on toys and batteries. For instance, when he hears the phone ring he makes a B-line towards it and picks it up. So he puts it in his mouth instead of answering it, we still think he's a genius.

He has become more independent, but also more clingy. He doesn't necessarily want you to play with him, you just need to be in sight range so he knows your there.

When I'm in the computer room, he will run in every few minutes to check on me. Sometimes he comes in laughing, sometimes he comes in and wants to sit on my lap as I write, sometimes he pulls the keyboard down onto the floor, sometimes he comes in so I can smell his dinner from last night.

Funny. Today I had gotten down on my hands and knees, because for some reason my son likes to head butt ya. He totally picked that up from the Catdoggg. If she isn't throwing ice at ya when she's drinking, next thing you know you've got a lump the size of Texas on your head. Anyway, when I got down he looked at me and started laughing and crawled away around the corner. I stayed on the floor...

a) because it takes me longer than a minute to work up enough energy to get up.
b) because I found an M & M on the floor and I was eating it.
c) because I wanted to see what he was going to do next.
d) all of the above.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the little guy sneaking his head around the corner to see if I'm still there. When I meet him eye to eye, he laughs and quickly turns around. He continues to do this about 4 more times. When he finally decides he's had enough he stands up and comes bombing around the corner and reaches out for a hug. *sniff* *sniff*

I love how he looks at me like I'm crazy sometimes. It's usually when I am trying to do a funny dance for him. I swear sometimes he looks at me like he's Stewie from The Family Guy.

I love how he does laps around the house drinking his bottle while he yells and screams to himself.

I love how the little bugger he wags his head from side to side when he says no or doesn't want anymore.

I love how he has picked up on his sign language and we are able to communicate with him better.

I love how he stops and dances when he hears music. 11 months and I think he dances better than me already.

I love how everything he sees and experiences is brand new to him.

I love how he is not jaded yet and doesn't understand hate.

I do miss how small he once was. How he would just be happy to sit with you and sleep on your chest. I'm working on a new video for him for his first birthday when I started to look at an old one I had posted a while back.

It brings back a ton of memories. Click here and scroll down. It's the second story down under the heading NEW TOY

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

V-Day Rant!!!

Originally I was going to rant about the commercialization of Valentine's Day, but then I got going on a few more subjects and I just feel that I need to get them off my chest...

#1
VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Yes I believe that Valentine's Day is a conspiracy. When the F did it become so commercialized? Every year I say this. We just get done paying off those wretched credit card bills from our Christmas presents, when we now have to turn around and think of something else to give the lady to prove that we still love her.

Don't know about you but I don't need a holiday to force me into proving my love for the Catdoggg. Gift buying, dinners, cars, and jewelry do not prove your love to someone. It's the everyday little things you do for each other that matter the most.

Making the bed when not being asked. Writing surprise notes for each other. Taking a shower/bath together. Keeping the toilet seat down in the middle of the night. A nice back scratch or massage. Having a surprise dinner ready for them when they get home. And fair warning on any Dutch Ovens.

That's love. Not wasting $3.99 on a Valentine's Day card to say something that you can't express on your own. Or roses that die in a few days. Be more original than that.

Plus, if you go all out in the beginning.... You are setting yourself up to fail because you've set that bar too high at first. Pace yourself boys...


#2
THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS!!!

Some of you out there know my political background and my views, but this is honestly not about any of that. What I care about now politically and what I cared about 10 years ago have completely changed. It's about what's good for me and my family and inevitably whats best for our country and the world.

On that point, please please please do not vote for Hillary Clinton for President. It's not because she's Billary Clinton. It's not because she's a Democrat. It's not because of any of the bullshit we know about her and cows, her husband or whatever. Just for one fact...

George H.W. Bush 1989-93
William J. Clinton 1993-2001
George W. Bush 2001-2009
Hillary Rodham Clinton 2009-2013

You do the math... That's 24 straight years of Bush's and Clinton's in the White House. I repeat, That will be 24 straight years of the same fucking people in the White House!!! It's even more if you want to include George H.W. Bush's 8 years as Vice-President under Ronald Reagan. So 32! And who knows, maybe when Hillary is done in 8 yearsJeb Bush will decide to run...

It's time for a change people!!! Democrat or Republican. Lets get rid of this old boy network. Someone new, someone fresh. If we keep electing the same people over and over again, nothing will ever change. I can't believe more people haven't noticed this...

Every person I tell this to stops to think for a second to do the math and then realizes it. Please pass this along.

Plus I think hearing the President of the United States and the First Man sounds silly...


#3
BLUE HAIRS!!!!

Get off my roads! Get out of my way! You can't drive! You can't walk! You make people angry behind you. They have this wonderful invention. It's called the ride. They will pick you up and safely bring you anywhere you want to go. Call your children , call you grand-children. Someone will help you. Just stop causing accidents, road rage, and stop driving through store fronts because the gas pedal and brake confuse you. I know it must suck to feel like you're losing your independence and I can't imagine I can even relate to that yet, but for eveyone's safety.. GET OFF THE ROADS!!!


#4
SNOW STORM!!!

It's a snow storm people, not the end of the world. There is no need to panic over a couple of inches of snow. Get over it. Stop using it as an excuse for getting out of shit. Stop attacking the supermarkets like the end is near. I hope that when the world is about to fall apart. The freaking supermarket is closed. HA!!!


Happy Valentine's Day everyone! :)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Only 17 More Years of This...

You know your 11 month old son is feeling better when he's back running around the house screaming like Howard Dean...


You know your son is feeling better when his Doppelganger comes out and becomes the Cheerio Bandit again...

You know your son is feeling better when he starts ripping them in his high chair with a very emphatic AAAAAAAAH afterward!!!!

You know your son is feeling better when he doesn't want you to hold him anymore...

You know your son is feeling better when he finally gets a taste of his formula that he hasn't has in a few days and guzzles it faster than Daddy drinking a beer with only 3 minutes left at an open bar...

One question though-

Why the hell has he become such a cry baby since he's been sick???

He seems to have become quite sensitive since his illness. From leaving him alone, to what he wants, to what he sees, to what he hears, to whatever... He's never really been like that before. Maybe someone out there can help me with this.

Is it because we catered to him and for the first time he got a taste of the good life?

Is it because he is still feeling a bit down, but won't admit it?

Is it because he wants to be independent but knows he needs us to survive right now and he's frustrated?

Is it because he can't reach the top shelf?

Is it because someone tipped the medical staff on how great our son was and somehow drained all the angel out of him and really put cry baby juice in the I.V.?

Is it because he knows his 1 year birthday is around the corner and he's upset that he's starting to look his age?

Or is it just because he's a baby and this is just the beginning of things to come?

Monday, February 12, 2007

Parenting 101

So some of you might not know, but Saturday we had to bring the little guy to the hospital. His stomach flu wasn't allowing him to consume any fluids and we didn't want him to dehydrate.

It was his first official emergency room visit. It wasn't like he was on his death bed, but we could see the early signs of dehydration and since I almost died as a baby from it, We sure as heck didn't want another repeat of that.

He was such a cutie. He had on his little gown. I got a great pic of it, but ever since I got my new Treo I can't seem to sync it to my computer. Grrr!

Baby Anthony (Babydog) ended up having to be put on an I.V. So sad. He was such a tough little
guy. We all had to hold him down while the nurses tried to find his vein. He was exhausted. Amazingly though once he was halfway through the I.V. he started to come back to life a bit. It's amazing how fast these little one's can bounce back. Me, it takes a week for any sense of
normalcy to return.

Everyone thought he was the cutest thing. Kept calling him Bunny Rabbit. Some of the nurses couldn't figure out what we meant when we said that his balance was off and wasn't able to
walk as well (a sign of dehydration)

"He's only 11 months, how well can he walk?"

"Well, he's been walking since Christmas."

Well, at the end of our visit, after Babydog had his fluids topped off, he took off like a bandit down the hallway, pushing by two of the nurses.

They were amazed.

Good boy.

I guess this is another part of parenting that you can't quite prepare yourself for. You can read all the books like Catdoggg. I get the Cliff notes from her... You can get all the advice from everyone under the sun, but until you experience these situations then you really have no idea.

It's so sad to see your child not feeling well. You'd rather take all the sickness and pain for yourself then to ever let them have it. But, they need to build up their immunities and in the end as long as nothing is ever too serious, they'll be better off.

I think the biggest compliment was from the Doctor at Children's Hospital.

"It's great that you two we able to pick up on the early signs of dehydration and were able to sense that something was wrong. You guys are great parents."

Catdoggg and The Papadog. Great parents. Who the F would have thought that 2 years ago?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Hi Death, Please Come In...

So remember my post yesterday about Baby Anthony shooting vomit all over me. He ended up with a stomach flu.

Guess what?

Daddy got it. Last night around 10:20pm I was getting ready to leave the store when my stomach made a noise I never heard before. I started to feel something move and then BOOM.....

Like that fat kid Lard-Ass from the movie "Stand By Me" Awful. Baby Anthony had nothing me. We'd have to be in different weight classes so we could be the first Father Son team to sweep the podium.

So from about that time until 5am nothing but vomit and poo.

My little boy who is not even the size of my leg took down a 6 foot 212 pound man like a ton of bricks.

If I wasn't afraid of biological warfare, I am now...

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I've Been Slimed!

So the little guy hasn't been feeling very well lately. He's had
the sniffles for the past couple of days and that's nothing new, but I
noticed some little patches of dried up puke on his crib sheet
yesterday morning. He didn't seem sick though. He went about his normal
day.

*Stealing the box of Cheerios and walking around with them.

*Terrorizing the cat and dogs.

*Grabbing the phones and remote controls and drooling profusely on them.

*Dancing when he triggers his music box.

*Laps around the living room while he talks very loudly to himself.

*Normal naps and play time.

*And horrendous poops.

That last poop I saw before I left for work was downright horrific. It
smelled so bad. Had to be in the top 3 for smelly diapers. It was a
clue...

Anyway, I guess later that evening he ended up puking his dinner up. Nothing bad, but enough to make you worry that he maybe getting really sick.

This morning he wakes up earlier than normal. Usually he doesn't want to get out of his crib until 9:30/10am but he started howling at 7am.

With our vast experience in 11 months, we determined that he was starving so we gave him his bottle and he stopped crying. Was very happy to be eating.

Catdoggg left for work while I decided to lay back down. When I here Mr. Man
start up again. His bottle is empty. He downed it in less than 5 minutes. That might be record time. I thought he might want more food, but all he wanted to do was cuddle. And he never cuddles so I should have known something was up.

We are laying in bed watching cartoons. Baby Anthony is sitting next to me holding the remote, looking up at me occasionally and just being his cute normal self.
After about 40minutes he decides to stand up. I wasn't thinking much about it. Figured he was getting restless. Had enough quiet time. He stands above me, I'm laying down. He looks at me and proceeds to...

Puke like he never puked before. If there was an Olympic sport for puking he
would have won the gold in distance, amount, freestyle and accuracy. My GOD!!!! I have never seen anything quite like it. I have this video clip that might be able to put it into perspective, but really none of the kids in this video come close. The one walking along kind of does. You can see him in thescreen cap. Take a look, it's funny...




He was like the Exorcist Baby. My shirt was soaked. It was if I had jumped into a pool with my shirt on and peeled it off when I got out. What didn't go all over my
shirt went on my face, ears, hair, arms, pants, underwear, rolled under me and made a puddle on the bed, pillows, rug, night table, floor, his pajamas, his hair, his face... You get the idea.

I felt so bad for him. He has never really been sick before. And Baby Anthony is
always happy and smiling. So for him not to be doing any of this meant he really didn't feel good.

I brought him to the doctors and they took him and dissected him.. Just kidding. They gave Baby Anthony the normal 3,000 mile check-up. He's on Amoxicillin right now and taking some Pedialyte (Bubble Gum Flavor!) Cause if Daddy was still a baby he would want bubble gum flavor...

He's been sleeping like a champ since 10:30am. Lets all wish that he feels better soon.

Hear are some pictures of him smiling and being his best. They cheered me up.








Wednesday, February 07, 2007

They Must Be Starving...

So on our way from Costa Rica to Buenos Aires, we had a layover in Panama.

Ah! Panama City...

If you've been to their airport then you know what I am about to talk about. I'll do my best to describe it.

The place is literally a mall. Yes, a mall! Wall to wall shops. Ranging from electronic goods, watches, clothes, booze (my personal favorite), toys, candy, books, Indian Artifacts, you name it.

And it's not just one of these stores each. Their are multiple stores of the same shit! In fact there were so many multiple stores that it really became ridiculous.

What was weird was that each store had a minimum 5 employees and sometimes more. Now that might not seem too bad except the fact that the size of the stores were not much bigger than a room at the Y.M.C.A. Trust me I know...

So we would walk in and not only would we be attacked by the employees, but they would follow us around. It felt like they were expecting us to rob them. And this wasn't an isolated incident. It
happened in every single store we walked into. And I walked into a lot because I couldn't believe all the stores in this place.

Another thing was that they had 5 liquor stores, 5 electronic stores, 5 watch stores, 5 toy stores, 5 this, 5 that, and none of them were competing with each other. They seemed to be state owned. I guess that's what you would call it. If this was the case though, then why have 5 of each store in the airport. Why not put 100 different stores?

We didn't buy anything because the prices were outrageous. There was no bargain. We came from Costa Rica where it was 500 Colones to an American Dollar and going to Argentina where it was 3 Pesos to an American Dollar. Panama was equal or more in some cases...

It seemed that they cared more about retail then they did the actual airport. The terminals were just in the way. You had to navigate through the mall of endless shops to find your gate hidden around the Helly Kitty Store... Maybe they should have put more of an effort into their pricing.

After walking around aimlessly, looking at the shops we started to get hungry. After a half fast meal on our flight from Costa Rica we never satified our hungry horrors.

All around the Airport were signs for restaurants. Now considering they structured their airport into a mall, there has to be a food court/dining area for all the travelers and shoppers.

WRONG!!!

We walked and walked and walked. Up and down and back again. Up some stairs and down some stairs. Looking for the restaurant that the signs had promised. We were lost. We couldn't seem to find this F-ing place.

We finally get back to the original restaurant sign and lok once again to see where it was pointing to. We know it's not down there because we have checked ten thousand times, so I go over to ask an airport personal.

"Excuse me sir. Hablo English? Great. We've been walking around here following the restaurant signs and can't seem to find it. Everytime we look the only thing we see is that Hot Dog Stand. That can't be the restaurant can it?"

"Si Senor, it is."


You've got to be kidding me???


So scroll down and check out Panama City's finest airport restaurant...




And I wasn't going to take a picture of this...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Do Over...

I got an e-mail the other day and I felt the need to share it. I actually agreed with it after reading it...

Check it out:


I want to live my next life backwards:

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.



I rest my case.

Friday, February 02, 2007

"A Little Bit of Costa Rica in My Life"


This Was My First Day. This Was The Only Friend I Made In Costa Rica.





Remember The Double Spiked Gate with Barbwire And Multiple Locks...





Not Sure If They Were Helping Or Unloading The Truck That Flew Off The Non Guardrailed Twisty Road...





Proud Buggers Aren't They. Too Bad They Export Only The Good Stuff, While We Drink The Crap...





You're Kidding Me Right? We Have To Cross That???




Hey Look Everybody, Only A Little Bit More To Go Before We Get Even Closer To Danger... There Should Be A Sign For The Nearest Helicopter Pad...




I Like To Ruin Pictures By Sticking My Big, Fat, Balding Head Into Them. Look How Cool Catdoggg Is...





You Know, I Thought We Didn't Keep Secrets From Eachother. Who Else Knew Catdoggg Ran An International Business???





Welcome To The Party! For Some Reason I Really Wanted To Push Someone Off This Bridge To See What Would Have Happened...





Costa Rica Was Incredibly Beautiful. Pictures Really Don't Do It Any Justice.





I Skipped The Family Niagra Falls Trip. So This Was The First Time I Had Ever Seen A Waterfall. For Some Reason The Whole Time I Had To Pee...





This Was Dominical... Kept Waiting To See The Dead Presidents Running Around With SurfBoards... Utah! Gimme 2!





These Are Howler Monkeys. They Like To Throw Poo!!!





Nobody Can Make A Bigger Mouth Than Me When I Eat Toast In Costa Rica!!!





Okay, Nobody Can Make A Bigger MOuth Than Catdoggg When She Eats Toast In Costa Rica!!!