Thursday, May 24, 2007

Fly on the Wall

As a responsible parent you have to protect your children. Especially a 14 month old boy who runs like a bat out of hell and gets into everything. He's even figured out how to open most doors now.

Regardless, when your not pulling things out of his mouth and making sure he doesn't run into a bus(because he likes them) you have to have some extra eyes.

Usually I do. If I need to run a chore I can because we are lucky enough to have Catdoggg's mum to help. Sometimes though I'm on my own and I really don't mind. Unless of course I have to go to the bathroom.

Unlike some of you females out there who seem to poo in less than a minute...As a guy it takes me longer. Christ! It takes me a few minutes just to wipe my ass. How the heck can you ladies do it so fast???

Anyway, I had to go poo and I don't have the luxury of wearing diapers like my son. So I put him into his room and closed the door. He's pretty safe in there as long as he's not left unattended for too long. Plus the bathroom is all of ten feet away. I can always run in there with my pants down if I had too. God! That sounded really bad...

Ok, so I put him into his room and tended to my business. I hear him playing and everything is fine. I finish up and I open the door to his room and this is what I saw...




He took out all of his clothes in all of the middle draws! There was stuff there I haven't seen in forever. He was so happy and having so much fun when I walked in. He would take them out and then throw them back in only to throw them back out again.





Of course I had to try to clean up his mess with him continually throwing his clothes around. I started folding what I could and placed them to my right. He caught wind of it and would come over and try to destroy my piles. 20 minutes it took me to put away all of his stuff. Even when I had finished putting most of his stuff away, he would come and open the draw and try to continue his house cleaning. Funny, funny boy!

He was so cute I wasn't angry at all. I love this next pic. He is having so much fun...



Earlier this morning he had refused to get dressed. For some reason he wanted no part of it. Maybe this was him making his statement against wearing clothes...

A few more pics of his controlled chaos,















Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Miesha

Yesterday was an incredibly difficult day for everyone. Catdoggg had to put down her 14 year old Husky Miesha. I can't even begin to describe the overwhelming feelings surrounding yesterday. The Vet came to the house so Miesha would feel comfortable. We took her outside where she loved to sit. It was very sad, but it was the right thing to do.

We all loved Miesha very much. She was such an incredible dog. Always so willing to accept everybody. She gave a lot of love and she affected everyone who had met her.

I am so proud of Catdoggg. How incredibly hard it is to do what is right for Miesha and not keep her suffering for our own selfish reasons. To love someone that much that you'll be able to go through with it. Honestly, I don't even know if I could. Catdogg was very brave.

I remember when I met Miesha for the first time. I was so scared of her. This big Siberian Husky with piercing eyes, wooing at ya. She always welcomed you when you came over and that's what was so intimidating in the beginning. This massive dog coming right at ya when you walk in. All she wanted to do was say hello and give you a quick lick. She was a big pussy at heart.

Miesha was the first person(dog) to make Babydog laugh. When he was 3 and a half months old he saw her come in once from her walk and we don't know if it was the big head with the giant nose, but for some reason he just lost it. He laughed so hard. Even an hour before the vet came she was still making Babydog laugh trying to catch treats in her mouth.

I've only known Miesha for a couple of years and I am so happy I had that. I will miss you wooing and your quick scampers when Babydog came into the room. I'll miss our walks when in fact you were the one walking me. I'll miss letting you in the house to only let you on the porch again and then let you back in the house and on the porch in a matter of a minute. I'll even miss you bossy me around. You know what, I'm just going to miss ya.

You've brought so much love to everyone around you Miesha. You will be missed but never forgotten. We'll see you again.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Overheard at Catdogggs!

At Catdoggg's parents house part of their siding had blown off a while back. During that time they also needed to replace part of the roof. The roofing company (which is one of the largest around our area) said that they would come back and fix the siding that blew off. They came at 7am today. This is what we heard lying in bed as they worked directly above us. Catdoggg's window is open a crack from the top. They had no idea...

Guy 1: Have you ever done siding before.

Guy 3: I've never done siding.

Guy 1: This is a fucking disaster.

Guy 2: I don't know what I'm doing!

Guy 1: Only one way to learn.

Guy 3: Just go ahead and do it!

They mumble about a bit more about what side is up, where does this piece go, what color is the sky... So Catdoggg lets her mother know what we heard.

Her mum has a thick Irish accent. It's taken me almost 2 years to finally understand every word she says. So imagine being on a roof and having an Irish lady yell up at you. Imagine what that would sound like.

So she goes out and said to them. "Do you know what you are doing? I heard that you might not know how. If you don't then I'll get someone else."

Guy 1, 2, and 3: We know what we were doing. We'll have it fixed up for ya don't you worry.

We laugh. Remember we are right next to them. They are literally only 4 inches away. They start murmuring on the roof.

Guy 1: Who said they didn't know how to do siding? I didn't!

Guy 2: I didn't!

Guy 3: I did.

Guy 2: What did she have a cup up against the wall?

Guy 3: Yea! A Tea Cup!

I thought we were going to die. We started laughing so hard that we had to muffle ourselves so they didn't hear us. Let me tell you, I was haven't been this entertained this early in the morning since college.

Here are other parts of conversations we heard. If you couldn't tell yet, Guy 3 is the comedian of the group.

Guy 3: So I go out and meet people and give them estimates and I drive by the next day and there are 30 fucking Brazilians on the roof!

I thought I was going to lose it on that one...

Guy 3: Do we slide them down into place and they lock?

Guy 1: Yea, but there's too much space here. So I'll get a piece of lead to stick in.

Guy 2: A little bit of lead!

Guy 3: A little bit of Gorilla Glue!

Guy 1: And we're good to go...

Why don't you just use bubble gum guys???

Guy 2: Who put this siding on?

Guy 3: It wasn't us!

Guy 1: Fucking hacks put this siding on.

Guy 3: Isn't it lunch time soon?

There was definitely more laughs but I can't remember them all. We had to get out of bed cause we couldn't take it anymore.

You never know what you'll get when you hire someone, but more importantly... You never know whose listening!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Photo Time

Its time for some new pics of the little guy. Over the past month or so he's learned to love the playground. He especially loves the swing. Mommy still tries to flip him up and over and scare the crap out of Daddy. I know it can't happen though. I saw it on Mythbusters, but I still get nervous. Babydog loves it though.

We've taken him to the zoo. We bonded with an older gorilla who liked to puke in its hand and then eat it. We could both relate.

He's been so much fun a of late. Imitating everything we do. Talking, screaming, running, laughing... He is so special and so freaking cute. I just want to eat him!!!

So here are some recent pics.

Enjoy!


Hi everybody!




Handstand or am I an Ostrich? Oh, I'm just imitating daddy drunk the other night...




Screams of joy




Posing like a superhero...




Looks guilty doesn't he?




I wonder if they know I can reach the door handle now...




Gorilla time




I would just love to know what Babydog is thinking...




Hey little guy, we know yellow is your favorite color, but what book do you have there?




Nice! You trying to tell me something?




Too cute

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Did You Ever Know That You're My...

I would have posted something good today, but instead I had to watch the latest episode of Heroes last on NBC.com. I missed it because I was too busy at work last night to sneak off and watch it.

I am so incredibly addicted to that show. If you haven't seen it yet. You should definitely check it out. You can watch it from the beginning Here.

Good stuff!

I'll be funny later.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Hair Today...

So for the past 12 years I have been cutting my own hair. Basically I got tired of over paying for a 3 minute haircut that Helen Keller could do. I mean really, if I wasn't about to lose an ear from a 90 year old barber with Parkinson's or keeping one eye open when my hair is being washed by someone from the Fab 5.. Ugh!

Just a waste of money. Seriously.

For these past 12 years I very rarely messed up. In the beginning there was a learning curve, but generally speaking most people are shocked that I cut my own hair.

"How do you see your back?"

"How do you make it even?"

"Why are you so sexy?"

"Can you cut my hair?"

"Do you do back hair?"

I've done that in college. Not the back hair, but other peoples heads. Hook the boys up with a fade some scribe. WORD!

Alas, for some reason I wanted to try a new clip. Stupidly I wasn't paying too much attention to the degree of cuttage that this clip would do. Yes I think I just made that word up.

I took the clippers and started to blend my side when I got about four to six inches in when I realized that I just completely buzzed my head.

There was no going back now. I couldn't blend it to make it look normal. I would have looked like a huge mushroom head. Fucking Mario would be stomping on me right now. Mushroom Head

So I did what I had to do. Buzzed the whole thing. Gone, Done, Fin...

At one point I gave myself a Mohawk. Looked pretty cool, but I got rid of that too. Should have kept it. I was feeling okay about the whole scalping. I knew it was a new drastic look for me, but I didn't think it was that bad...

Well, pretty much everyone I know hated it. Well, it would have made me feel better if they did say they hated it. Instead I got;

"You look better with hair."

"HaHaHaHaHaHa!!! Sorry I had to get that out."

"I like you better with hair." <- LIKE! Does that mean you like me less now???

"Did you enlist?"

"You look like Powder."

"It should grow back soon."

"If you color your eyebrows it won't look so bad."

Thanks guys. Even my 14 month old son looked at me, looked at my head, smiled and bopped me on the noggin a few times.

I look like a Crystal Meth addict or add a few scabs on my head and I look like Tom Hanks from Philadelphia

The moral of this story is. Don't fuck up your hair. Now I have to wear a hat for the next month and a half. Not to mention I'll probably get a sunburn on my white, pasty head now...

I have some more wine luncheons coming up. What the Fuck!

I guess I could buy a wig...

Monday, May 07, 2007

Rant!

You know, when athletes say it's not about money and then they take as much as they can in the end. Why lie to us? Every once and a while I get sucked into thinking that maybe this time its really not about the money. Wrong! Then i get angry and bash that person till I'm blue in the face. Then when it comes to Roger Clemens. I will bash him till the day I die!

First, you suck ass the last four years with the Red Sox. You're out of shape and lost interest. You decide to be a free agent and claim that you want to live closer to home; Texas. You then turn around and take the richest contract possible and go to Toronto. Toronto? Yea, then you get your fat ass into shape and win two more Cy Young awards. Then you turn around and diss Toronto cause you wanna move closer to home again; Texas and then you sign with those fucking Yankees! Win a couple of World Series Rings and now you're off to Houston and are actually home. I think that took 6 or 7 years to do.

Now your playing with Houston and are getting old and your body is breaking down. You decide to ass fuck the Houston Astros into paying you a pro-rated contract worth $22 million for half a season's work and just home games. Now you might retire again and wait, wait, the Yankess are going to give you $28 million dollars for 4 months work and you don't have to travel. Are you kidding me?

Yea maybe I'm bitter he didn't choose the Red Sox, who by the way offered $18 million, but when your fat ass is all over the news claiming that this is about winning and never about the money and then you run to the desperate Yankees who throw more money at you then a stripper. You got me pissed. How much more money do you need? You've already got more money than Christ has Christians!

So have fun playing with your Yankees. You over-priced, lying, old, fathead, donkey dick Clemens! Have fun playing for a team loaded with has been all stars who will do anything to try to recapture their glory years from 96' to 2000. Trying building from within again and then you'll be back someday.

Maybe I would act different if he came here, but he will never be welcome back to my neighborhood. I can't wait till his fat ass comes to Fenway and to see and hear the jeers he'll get. Knowing him he'll probably skip playing here. PUSSY! He just officially destroyed his legacy here.

Although this does add another element for the biggest rivalry in sports the past few years.

"Bitter, your table for one is ready. Bitter, your table is ready."

Friday, May 04, 2007

I'm alive...

Sorry folks, the park closed!

Actually I just haven't been in the mood to write. The weather has changed and Babydog is even more active. Usually when I write my posts is when we're now going for our walks. By the time I get back, he's in bed and I gotz other shit to do. (If I don't nap as well) Plus, I just went through a lazy phase of not doing anything else. No gym, no blog, no nothing. It happens. I can't explain why, but sometimes I just feel like doing nothing. Yea, I wonder what kind of psychological issues I have... :)

I hope this finds everyone in good health. I'm back! Not like anyone cares.

Oh and I am going to disable that Will Farrell video. It annoys me that it starts up automatically as well.