Friday, June 09, 2006

Mrs Miyagi Is The Mother Of My Child!!!!

What a crazy weekend? I think we had a little bit of everything this past weekend. Between Baby Anthony's Christening along with the party it seemed to never end. I think everyone had an incredible time.

There are many things to post but I would like to start off with Saturday night.

We had the Christening rehearsal or whatever you call it. I wasn't really paying too much attention. Sorry God. The only thing that I got out of Saturday;s rehearsal was that Baby Anthony was exorcised. So no spewing of green vomit while his head spins from him anytime soon. Instead all his vomit will be milk based instead.

Catdoggg and myself had dinner afterward with my sister and her man Craaaaaig, (as she likes to call him). After a very good meal and two bottles of wine later we decided since we have a baby sitter that we should go out for a few more drinks. We called up a few friends to meet us and now the story begins...

As some of you may know, once you have a child your time is no longer yours. When the opportunity arises to go out you go all out. Catdoggg firmly believes this. Why not? Party while you can.

We go down to the local watering hole. Trust me, it's no special place. Kiki unfortunately you'll be drinking there at some point. So Catdoggg was feeling it a bit. If you've never drank with her and she's in full drinking mode then you're in for a surprise when you do.

She likes to throw ice. And I must say she is a true marksman with the cube. Not only can she find the one crack in your clothing that it will go down, but she can do it from 10 feet away or more. Breast-a-licious can vouch for this. We have both gone home very cold. If there was an Olympic Sport for ice throwing, Catdoggg would bring home the gold.

Stolli Blueberry was the vice that night. We drank them fast and furious. I proceeded to have 90% of all the ice in her 5 drinks down my pants and in my crack. By the end of the night I was numb down below and it looked like I peed my pants. Now you know you ain't cool unless you pee your pants!!!

Between keeping me cool. Catdoggg proclaimed many times how big Baby Anthony's weapon is. Now I will admit he's got the goods and he will make some lucky girl very happy someday, but it was rather funny hearing his mom talk about it.

"Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Lend me your ears, Baby Anthony is HUGE!!!"

Now what happened next was amazing. I decided to tell a story earlier in the day about Catdoggg and how she mixed up her words. We're driving in my truck running some errands when she asks me, "How come all attorneys are lawyers?" For a split second I tried to answer the question until I realized what she said.

I thought it was rather funny so I decided to share the story. I proceeded to tell the story to our friends when she caught wind of what I was saying. I was to her right and she whips around to slap me with her right hand, when...

What happened next was incredible. In trying to hit me, an empty glass was in the way. Instead of knocking the drink over and sending it flying, over me of course.. She instead cleanly whacks the top off the glass. The glass never moved. Nothing ever fell. Liquid never dropped. She completely Miyagied the top of the glass right off. It was something that could never be planned or duplicated. Silent Steve who was there made a valid point.

"Martial Artists have been studying their crafts for years, even decades and they could never do that."

Jesus! I'm with the next Karate Kid over here.

I do have evidence of the glass, but stupid blogger sucks the big one now. I'll post it when I can.


kiki said...

i like this story, because it mentions me

ThePapaDog said...

I can't stop thinking about you!!!

Carrie said...

oh my..yes i can relate to the ice that she can go out and party again, i am so screwed because it is summertime..more cleavage time!! YIKES!! maybe i will wear turtlenecks all summer!
Kiki is going to have a blast with us!