Wednesday, August 02, 2006

RANT!!!

Now some of you may know, but if you are unaware I am from Boston. Yes, I have the wicked Baaahston accent when I'm drunk.

You may assume that I am a Red Sox fan. That is fact as well. In fact I have been to some pretty important games in my 32 years. Many games people would die to be at. I've been blessed with season tickets most of my childhood and along with my connections now and with the great Catdoggg, I'm all set.

Now I might have to make a weekly Rant. Cause there are many things in this world that annoy the shit out of me. The only true way to make yourself feel better is the Rant about them. It's sort of like therapy. Without the high cost of paying a dummy to hear you express yourself. I might as well pay the wall. He listens all the time.

I went to the game last night. Of course they lost, but if you are a homer like myself... You are quite aware of what takes place during the 8th inning. In fact Kiki has been subjected to this. I'm sorry but this really freaking annoys me.

During the 8th inning, for some reason Fenway Park feels the need to play "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. Ok, I might have liked it the first 32 times, but please STOP!!!

What gets me even worse is that the generation in front of me started this useless admiration, and unfortunately it filtered down to mine. Especially the stupid girls and sign wielding fans who feel a need to dance hard enough to be seen on some stupid jumbo-tron so they can say they were there. GET A LIFE!!!

Everybody loves to stand up and sing. The only reason you see any guys do this is because...

A) They are so pussy whipped that the might get yelled at for not having fun.

B) They are on a first date and will try anything to get laid.

C) They are a loser.

D) They are gay.

E) They are actually Neil Diamond.

Now, what I witnessed last night made me give up. I sat there when the song came on, surrounded by every knucklehead Bostonian singing and swaying, and I see something that just makes me ill.

I see four kids in front of me to my left. They must have been between the ages of 9 to 14. Two girls and two boys. Up on their chairs singing this stupid fucking song. Swaying back and forth like they're Mel Gibson.

Obviously they learned this rotten trait from their moronic parents. I just sat there and all I could think was that in order for me and many others who are subjected to this mind controlling Jim Jones like song was to literally destroy them.

It's like what we need to do to terrorists. You need to wipe them off the face of the Earth. Cause if you don't they will breed and their little bundles of shit will continue on with their parents work.

A child isn't a racist when they are born. They don't know hate. Therefore they sure as hell don't know "Sweet Fucking Caroline" by Neil Diamond. It's not cool anymore.

Where they hell are those Four Horsemen? Please come to Fenway tomorrow night.

I know some of you might not agree with me. I really don't care. This is one man's opinion, but I know many peeps out there who agree with me. They just might not have the testicualr fortitude to admit it.

I wish I could meet the person who decided to play this song at Fenway and started a tradition only a meteor could destroy.


I can only imagine what it will be like if the poor bastard ever passed away. It will never leave.


POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!

* This post was written by the Coalition for the Destruction of Conformity *

14 comments:

kiki said...

"Swaying back and forth like they're Mel Gibson." hahaha

of the options that applied to me that night it was A, B, C, D and E. but mostly A and B (and C).
i didn't sing though, i merely stood. got in a few bum pinches and took the opportunity to stretch my back...

i've been to one game. and i think it was the part of my trip i hated the most (not the game, and certainly not what took place after, but the sweet caroline bit)

ThePapaDog said...

See, even a complete outsider. Somebody who doesn't know or care a lick about Amercian Baseball feels my pain...

Anonymous said...

I agree. I also feel that way about the Wave, inappropriate use of the Yankees Suck chant, and those fucking ThunderSticks.

carrie said...

well, being a huge neil diamond fan, (yes i am admitting it, i don't care) i hate the fact that they use this song. it totally ruined it for me!! i hate hearing the song now. sucks!! the people who do this think they are so freakin cool....

kiki said...

it's a mob-mentality thing

everyone only does it because everyone does it
you need to stop people from doing it, or get catdogg to get them to stop playing it

Liz's Blog said...

See the problem is - is that society is a bunch of trained puppets. Like when you are at any event and they start playing Stars and Stripes Forever - everyone gets to their feet and starts clapping like they are possessed!

Liz's Blog said...

Ant - check out the newest AIV photos on my blog - I just love him to death - feel like jumping through my screen and pinching his cheeks everytime I see them!

Liz's Blog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kiki said...

liz's first comment is my one above it re-worded

Liz's Blog said...

Kiki - are you picking on me?

kiki said...

yes and no

it's kind of a sarcasm thing

Liz's Blog said...

I figured as much, but just checking nonetheless :-). Check my blog when you can - just posted new baby pix from today.

A Girl You Know said...

although i'm a white sox fan and we all know how i feel about the red sox...i agree. what is up with the stupid traditions. sorry for the neil diamond song. even i won't stoop so low as to pick on you for that. it's just sad. sad i tell you...

Stepping Over the Junk said...

YA BOSTON! I'm not from here originally but my kids appear to be getting a slight accent, coupled with North Shore/fisherman lingo/accent