Friday, February 23, 2007

How About A Reach Around?

I went tanning yesterday. It's not because I am going to the Bahamas soon, even though it will help my pale, pasty skin, but because suddenly in the past year I developed psoriasis.

It took freaking 32 years for this annoying skin condition to rear its ugly head. I had an outbreak last October that grew for a month before I realized what it was. Yes, I'm a stubborn man and didn't seek medical attention earlier. Took a while to go away. Had to have UV treatments for months to squash it. Of course Costa Rica and Argentina helped out quite a bit.

I was sick of getting ass raped at my medical center for $25 for a minutes worth of time. Actually it took a while before I got to a minute. So I was paying $25 for 30 seconds in the beginning. 3 DAYS A WEEK! What does that work out too? $1.20 per second. I'm in the wrooooooong business.

So I joined a salon the other day because I noticed that I was starting to see some patches form a bit. $79 unlimited for a month. Nice deal considering what I was paying before hand.

It didn't take me long to introduce myself to the staff.

I walk in and they tell me that there is a wait for about 4 minutes. No prob. I sit down and I notice one of my customers next to me. We exchange pleasantries and he asks why I am here. I tell him, but say that it won't hurt considering I was going to the Bahamas soon. He proceed to tell me that he's going to Aruba with his wife and wants to get a base tan, blah, blah, blah...

This is what happened next.

Staff: "You guys are all set to go in."

Me: "Together?"

Other Guy: "um Ha."

Staff (smiling): "ya together."

Me: "Well great, but I like to use the lay down for this then because it's easier for me when I'm on top."

Other Guy (jaw dropped): .....

Staff (half smile): "um. Um."

Me (Bright Smile): "Do I still need to check in?"


furiousBall said...

The reach around isn't gay, it's just considerate.

I used to go to a gay dentist's office in a gay part of Atlanta. The receptionist (Eric) used to call me at work and say "Hi handsome!"

Needless to say I stopped using speakerphone forever after that.

The Boob Lady said...

Oh My God. You are my new favorite. Keep it up!