Saturday, December 31, 2005

The Coca Cola Kid

Last night I was preparing to write my next post. I had downloaded numerous pictures from the holidays. I was learning new ways to use html with the goal of adding video clips in the near future. And I was also trying to figure out what topic to write about. With so many choices, I couldn't decide what to do. Until....

My phone rang at 2:40am and NO, it wasn't Pepper again. It was Catdoggg.

The Queen Of Morocco...

Now, she doesn't call me to say hello...She doesn't call me to say I love you...She doesn't call me to say she was thinking of me...She doesn't call me to tell me Babydog is running a marathon... She calls me to read a passage from one of her
books that she has out of the library. Yes, 29 of them folks. 29 taken out at the same time. Now I have met some readers in my life, but nothing like Catdoggg. Not only do I find it amazing that she has so many books, but I find it even more amazing that the library lets someone take so many out at once. I was there... The lady was printing up a receipt of all the books she has out. I swear it was longer than some of my credit card batches from the store. Isn't there a limit? What's even more amazing is that none of these books seem to correlate with eachother. They range from one end of the spectrum to the other.

"The Ins and Outs of Belly Button Poking"
"Sri Lankan Ministry of Agriculture, Livestock, Land and Irrigation"
"How to Be a Hot Momma"
"Provincial Lives of One Legged Midgets"
"Why Cars Stop"
"Bubbles in the Bathtub"
"The Comprehensive Guide to Orchestral Music"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"Where Would You Like to be Buried?"
"Fun With Pointy Things"
"A Kids Guide to Hitchhiking"
"Dad's New Wife Timothy"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear"
"The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy"

You name it and she has it. It is truly incredible...

Catdoggg loooooooves to torment me. Sometimes I feel like she wakes up and wonders what she can do to me today. One thing she likes to do is to point out all the bad things I eat and drink. In fact, she likes to read the nutritional facts on the side of EVERYTHING I TOUCH. To be honest with some of you.. She can be quite scary... She knows most of them off the top of her head. I swear...It's rather freaky.. I go shopping with her and I pick up a tube of chips or a soda and INSTANTLY she tells me how many carbs and sugars per serving is in each one of them. UGH!!! The woman has a gift. Everything I once held dear to my heart is now ruined. I really can't remember the last time I had a mountain dew. I know what she is doing. She is trying to make me healthier so I can be around long enough to see my grandchildren. It's just one of the reasons why I love her.

Let's get back to the phone call.

She calls me up to preach to me the dangers of soda in a child's life.

(CDoggg) Do you know that I can of soda for a small child is equivalent to 8 espresso coffees for a grown man?

That is actually pretty disgusting. Now she continues to read to me all these findings about sugar and especially soda for small children. She's making a point that I can completely agree with, but then I realized...

(ME) Are you accusing me of giving soda to our unborn child?

(CDoggg) I'm just saying that I don't drink soda so if Babydog has some it will probably be from you.

(ME) How the hell am I being blamed already for something I didn't do and last time I checked, Babydog wasn't even born yet?

Now let me just say that this conversation was very funny. There was no real argument. We were both laughing, but I still can't believe that I got accused of giving our unborn child soda ALREADY... She's probably right. At some point I will probably give the little bugger a soda, but I think it's a little premature to accuse me of it now. HA HA... Her whole point was that she didn't want to raise an uncontrollable sugared up maniac who learned to drink lots of soda from their DADDY..

Just for that... I'm posting belly shots.

Okay, just to be fair....Here are a couple of me being silly.

My best Catdoggg Impression... It gets better after a few drinks...

P.S. I hope everyone appreciates the Belly Shots. I know some of you out there wanted to see some. Catdoggg's belly is extremely cute, but she's GONNA KILL ME when she sees these...


catdoggg said...

just wait till i get my hands on you!!!!

carrie said...

wow...that is the belly pics.. she is crazy with her books...just wait, the baby will be reading at 6 ya guys! happy new year's eve!!

kiki said...

i like it

kiki said...

at my university library, i can only take out 1 book at a time.

but i think everyone else can take out 5...

kiki said...

but i must admit

"Sri Lankan Ministry of Agriculture, Livestock, Land and Irrigation" is one of the best books i have ever read

catdoggg said...

hey lazy,
update yo shit