The Inspiration for Twin Beds...
Yesterday we brought Babydog to an activity center. I guess that's what you would call it. Basically it was large rented out room with donated toys, and no sense of order. With its ghetto fabulous decor I felt like I was onstage at the Jerry Springer Show.
Not only was it a total rip off price wise, but I learned something new.
Other kids sucks...
There was one bratty little girl who was driving around in a car running people over and crashing into everything. I'm going to guess she was around 5 years old. Big, mean looking girl. Wavy locks and a sinister grin. She drove up to me, stopped and threatened to run me over for fun. She drove away laughing. I swear I saw her give me the finger. Then she did a drive by tongue sticking out which was witnessed by the Catdoggg. At one point she drove up to my son took the ball out of his hand threw it away and then drove off. Oh did I forget to mention that she would just throw things for fun and didn't care that there were 1 year olds walking around. I seriously wanted to open the front door and let her drive into oncoming traffic.
"Gee, I'm sorry I don't know what happened. I was going outside for air and she ran over my foot and drove off. Aren't you her mother? The one whose supposed to pay attention to what she's doing? Oh that's right, you don't caaaare. No wonder you're not married!"
Oh that was mean, Ha Ha
There was one little boy, actually he wasn't so little. Maybe 2. I swear he could have been the son of Sloth from Goonies.
Every time I touched something, or I wanted to touch something friggin Sloth would come over and take it from me. Literally he would rip it right out of my arms poke at it or whatever he did and then toss it. And then he'd do it again. If I wasn't so afraid of him i would have fought back, but I was scared he might bite me or something. Oh, Sloth had a little sister there too. She was developing her Sloth like appearance as time went by. Creepy.
Then there was another ugly boy who was around 4 that wanted to bash my son into oblivion if he touched his precious blue ball. Little fucker doesn't know that he'll have plenty of blue balls later with that mug of his.
Then there were the little girls in the house playing in the kitchen not wanting to let my son inside. When he did finally get inside they ran and shut all the doors and blocked our view. I mean what were they planning on doing in there? One of the girls was the driving brat. Yea, I'm gonna trust them alone with my son. Fucking kids...
Then there was this little girl pushing an empty stroller back and forth the whole time. Something about it seemed very weird to me. Every time she passed me I expected to see the stroller full of empty cans...
Then in the back corner was a little fenced in area that look liked it held goats from a petting zoo. There was a sign on it for crawlers only. I guess it's so the bratty little bitch can't run any infants over. Alas, the brat kept running in and out of there at full speed for fun. Good Job Mommy!
So basically we over paid for an hours worth of controlled chaos. I want Babydog to have interaction with other children, but not from over tired older brats with no parental supervision. Plus, there was Sloth...
Oh yea, Babydog did have fun. He liked the slides and he loved the sandbox. More importantly, he didn't give a rats ass about any of the other demons running about.
Now that i think of it, maybe I had more fun than I thought...
6 comments:
I have never laughed so much in my life. That was absolutely classic! I could actually picture it. Horrifying! But funny as all hell.
I'm waiting to go to this place here in Jersey that has these foam bullet cannons that the kids can shoot each other with. I want to get my own cannon and modify it to hit the bad kids. I'll wear bandoleers of foam bullets and tie a bandanna around my head like Rambo...it will be totally cool - to me.
Um, I just spit Pepsi EVERYWHERE.
Full on belly laughs.
I was actually picturing sloth kid saying: "Heeeeyy you guuuuuuuuyyyyss!!"
Me love Chunk...
Wait till Babydog is older, you'll get your revenge, or enjoy it more. We take The Boy to drop-in all the time, doesn't seen as chaotic as you've described. It's fun... mostly.
I hate other people's kids.
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