Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Beep Beep

So yesterday we went to visit my friend Wee-Man to get Catdoggg some new eyeglasses. She stepped on her frames and needed to get new ones. He's got the hook up so it's beneficial for all of us to visit him. Can't go wrong with 50% off.

I'll have to meet him later and hold my ankles, but hey that's the price you pay for getting the discount.

This was the first time he actually was able to meet Babydog. Considering they are almost the same height already, Wee-Man was intimidated right away. I usually make the vertically challenged jokes, but there were two girls in the office who kept burning him the whole time we were there. Rather funny, but I was upset because that's my job.

One girl had said something and Wee-Man...

Quick background on Wee. I met him smoking butts during break from an acting class years and years ago. He was the only other white dude I knew that smoked Newports. We had similar upbringings and what not so we hit it off immediately. Honestly if he wasn't so short he could be my brother. People say we share the same brain. Not like thats a good thing.

He's very quick on his feet. Very funny. He has that gift. After countless years of acting together, Movies, Screenplays, Naked Twister, Nude Powerlifting, having a baby and an almost move to LA we've haven't been able to spend much time together recently. I sort of put my acting on hold and he's still working the biz, but we're still buds and when we see each other we just roll right into it again like we saw each other yesterday.

Oh, and he got his nickname Wee-Man for being short, but for also running down a bowling lane and diving toward the pins. He bounced off his face three times and only knocked down the first 4 pins. He then took out his one arm that wasn't caught under him and knocked the rest down as the machine came down on him. He got up and fell about 5 times before I came to grab him half way. His lip was busted open and he started spitting blood on the walls laughing the whole time. I remember I was standing there talking to our friend "Harry Pothead" and made some comment to Wee about how funny it would be to see him roll himself down the lane. All of a sudden we felt this breeze go by us and the rest is history. Oh and when we went to pay the front desk, the manager leaned over to us and said, "By the way, we saw your friend bowl himself down the lane. We have it on tape. We all laughed our ass's off." We still haven't been able to get a copy.

Well, she busted on him and within a tenth of a second he responded with, "I loved you in the Wizard of Oz. Tell me, How long did it take them to paint you green again?"

I lost it. Needless to say she didn't say a word later.

Then there was this other girl that worked there. You could tell she was nuts. Wild! Piercings, Tats and her name was Summer. Yea, her parents set her up! She is definitely a dirty girl. Type that likes to be peed on. I asked Wee real quick with our secret look and he said he'd tell me later. So I know my instincts were right on.

Regardless she was enamored with our son. Loved him. Loved him so much that I think she was ignoring customers as she played and chased Babydog around.

As some of you know, we have been teaching Babydog sign language and it has really paid off. He always understood it but recently he's actually been able to sign some things perfectly and with the right context. Saves us from those temper tantrums.

So he was up to something he shouldn't have or I thanked him and gave a sign. Next thing I know we are all talking about it. Wee-Man's sister is having an alien soon so he brought up the fact that she was going to do it. Well, Summer was sitting there and said, "I'll teach him some sign language." With a devilish look on her urine stained face. I immediately said I don't wanna see them. Part of me did though.

He called me later and we talked briefly and asked if I saw what the sign she wanted to teach him was. I didn't. Anyone wanna take a guess???

For those that don't know, The Shocker

I actually think it's funny, but I really don't need my 15 month old running around the summer pool club showing other parents and kids the shocker.

I would get such a kick out of it though. Damn! I hate being responsible...


Scottsdale Girl said...

I wonder how many situations I can use the shocker in and get away with it?

I'm starting at work.

furiousBall said...

"Because of its explicit sexual connotation, the shocker is sometimes considered vulgar."

Unless you're some tattooed lady that likes being peed on.

The Boob Lady said...

Shit, the shocker coming from a small child would be absolutely hilarious.