Monday, December 12, 2005

Dressing 101

Once again I apologize about the delay. This was a crazy yet fun weekend. First I had to deal with the storm on Friday. Didn't mind the storm so much, but the fact that 3 employees didn't show up didn't help. I don't mind doing the work for three, I've done it for years...But during a snow storm...... Everybody and their mothers drive to the liquor store during a storm. Risking their lives for a cheap buzz. It's weird, it's almost like people think the end of the world is coming. Either that or we're all a bunch of alcoholics who just need to find an excuse to drink... I'm guilty of it and I'm not going to complain. BANK!!!!

Saturday was my sister's annual Christmas party and Sunday I had dinner with the sister and her *NEW* man. Please stay tuned for that one. The party was fun, but definitely not as exciting as past parties. There were a few things of notice, some funny grab gifts and plethora innuendos regarding genitalia.....YAWL Know what I'm talking about.....


I know, I could totally go off about this weekend and not discuss what this current post is truly about. So hear it is....

I learned something new recently. Remember, I am a firm believer of learning something new each day. That day's lesson.... ONESIES!!!! It must have taken Catdoggg day's to convince me that Onesies and Oneies are two different things. I couldn't understand at first why we needed to get marijuana for Babydog. Catdoggg might be a borderline Bohemian, but even she wouldn't do that..... Thank God there was a difference. In case you didn't know........

A onesie or onesize is a kind of T-shirt designed to conceal a diaper when worn. The shirt extends past the waist and has snaps or buttons that allow it to be closed over the crotch, with enough extra room to accommodate a diaper. Worn commonly by very small children, incontinent persons, and ABDLs (otherwise referred to as infantilists.

Catdoggg's friend hand stitched a beautiful onesie for Babydog. It is so cute, but the best part of it is that has the Red Sox emblem on it. Woo Hoo!!! So I get the bright idea of taking the Grover I had bought (using Babydog yet again as an excuse to buy silly things for myself) to practice putting a onesie on a baby/Grover....


<---- So here's the beginning. As you can see, Catdoggg explains to me that I need to hold Grover by the crotch and make him/her look like he's walking, while holding the onesie in your right hand. Notice the Red Sox cap to the left of Grover...



Now notice that I have Grover in my clutches... As you can see, Grover can't breath and I am having a hard time finding his little blue arms. I think my grip on his crotch might be a little too firm...



Finally I have Grover on his back. I found his arms and it looks like the onesie is almost on. If I could just button this crotch area. Grover's packing.... Have you noticed his eyes appear to be a bit glazed. I think it's because I asphyxiated the little blue guy in the beginning.



Damn it!!! Why can't I button this stupid crotch flap thingie??? Grover is an inanimate object and I still can't do it right. I am in so much trouble when Babydog arrives. At this point Catdoggg reminded me that Baby's move and Grovers do not.....



So here I am holding a very sloppy, backward hat wearing Grover. Notice I seem to have a kung fu grip on the little guy. Even trying to hold a stuffed animal I feel completely out of control. This is scary stuff folks. I couldn't even put a stupid onesie on a stupid Grover..... How the hell am I going to put one on Babydog? Whom I am sure will be moving, kicking, drooling, farting, pooping, peeing, along with being stubborn.... Much like his/her father. At least we'll have a few things in common. For now, I'll leave the onesie dressing to Catdoggg and Granddogs(Grandparents) As for myself, I will continue to practice on Grover. I'm sure eventually I'll get the hang of it. Scroll down for final result...






LEAVE ME ALONE ANTHONY!!!!

3 comments:

CARRIE said...

WATCH THE NECK...HAHA

Liz said...

Man you just made me laugh out loud at my desk - AGAIN! Classic Anthony, well you have a couple of months to get the hang of it. Hey, did anyone notice that in the final picture Grover looks a bit drunk?

Anonymous said...

LMAO - Passed the Link on to a few ppl! In Ireland and Malta, EU! So you r being kept an eye on Internationally now! Poor Grover!! You had better perfect your onesie skills! Good effort Anthony, but keep practising! It'll be much easier and it'll all come naturally when BABYDOGGG arrives! BTW, You just weren't meant to know BabyDogg's sex, where you?! Maybe thats why he/she was stubborn on 'The Big Day of The Ultrasound!' BTW, You want that cap 'redsox'd' up too? Excellent Blog - Keep writing!

GaiL :)