Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Guest Post

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

In response to your post regarding my birth. POST As much as I appreciate all of your love for me. As much as I appreciate my 1 year celebratory party. I do not find my birth humorous. In the future, please remember these thoughts.

How would you like to be pushed out of your home? Your warm, cozy home? Not only did I get pushed out but at the end I got yanked. Not fun! I had finally gotten comfortable with my surroundings when this transpired. I don't care how big I was getting. I could have made it work if given the chance.

I had a never ending supply of food. I didn't have to wear clothes. Now that I'm out, I HAVE to wear them. Why? Because it's freaking freezing out here! On top of that I have to put these things on called diapers. Diapers! Are you kidding me? And you wonder why I leave you monster shits each time.

Oh, did I mention that I had to learn how to breath air? Um yea, I had to relearn how to breath in a very short time. You know why? Cause I would have been dead if I didn't. How would you like it if I threw you in a tub full of fluid and left you for dead? Hey, learn to breath fluid or die. You two would never be able to hack it. You're just lucky I'm smarter then both of you. You'd never survive in my world.

So here I am a year removed from my home and as much as I complain about it, it's nice to know that I have a good home. Not great, but good. However, Ido have the both you trained really well now. A quick cry, and a long scream gets whatever I want. It still amazes me that you guys continue to make stupid faces at me to get me to laugh. I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing because you guys are retarded. It's good that you keep me amused with your moronic faces, and your foolish dance moves. We won't even talk about your singing.

Here's a tip for you. Before you two decide to get drunk again and attempt to make me a sibling. Please, please, remember what I said. Who wants to be evicted into the cold with no clothes, no food, and no way back in. How does that saying go? "I spent 9 months of my life trying to get out and the rest of it trying to get back in." Just think about it and stop thinking about yourselves.

With lots of poo,
Babydog

115 comments:

Editorgirl said...

Man that baby has quite a way with words!

furiousBall said...

Babydog, don't worry when you go to college, be sure to join a fraternity, it's basically the same experience, but with more mixers and beer funnels.

Scottsdale Girl said...

Dude: I have had pictures up for 2 days and where are YOU LiquorBOY?

kiki said...

you only do it when you're drunk?

and another thing, your one year old kid wrote all this?
pretty smart kid. you sure he's yours?
hahahahahahahaha

i mean, i'd quesiton catdoggg also, but he came out of her, so you'd hope it was hers. not that i'm not hoping it's not yours...

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Wow. Simply, wow.

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