Babydog's Girlfriend

I know this has made the rounds a week or so ago, but I think it's really hitting now. I just find this too funny.

WTF!!!

I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I tend not to check the contents of a stove when I pre-heat it. I just assume it's empty. Ha Ha Ha

WRONG!

Well, twice in the past week I have re-cooked something that someone left inside the stove. I should say left in on purpose.

I re-cooked a lamb from Easter. Which by the way had plastic over it to keep the flies off of it I guess. Melted right into the meat. YUMMY!!! Then I burnt the shit out of an apple pie. Which neither one seemed to piss anyone off. Nobody really likes lamb and some people prefer their apple pie toasted. For some reason though, I just can't seem to retrain my brain to check the contents first.

Last night we got home from the gym and stopped off at the grocery store. Had to grab some food cause I was starving. Had it all planned out so we could watch The Shield in time. Well, guess what I cooked this time, or ruined?

Somebody had left some chicken to defrost inside the stove. After pre-heating the oven for about 20 minutes I hear Catdoggg laughing and saying, "You just don't learn."

Excuse me, I'm sorry but who the fuck loads their stove up like a second fridge all the time. I was so pissed off at myself for letting it happen again that I grabbed the plate the chicken was in and burned my thumb.

Idiot!

I then wrote a big note and taped it to the back of the stove to remind me that weird people live in this house like to leave everything but small animals inside their stove.

For 32 years I had never had to worry about this. It's gonna take a while for me.

The List Keeps Growing

You know that old adage, "You see something new everyday." Well, every time I think I never will, I do.


I used to say it quite often back in the day. Then we bought another store in the Ghetto! Actually that's not fair. At first it was an up and coming neighborhood, but for some reason toward the end it turned into Raccoon City.


If I only thought of blogging back then I would have been bigger than
Dooce by now. Man! The stories I had about that place. The only reason and I stress ONLY reason I wasn't shot and left for dead was because the police station was right next door. And if it wasn't for all the cops hanging out in my store smoking cigs, scratching lotto tix, and drinking beers in the cooler I would have been long gone from this world.

Back to my original point though. Just when you think you've seen it all and heard it all, something or someone comes along and reminds you that you can never be snoozing. You never know what you may experience in this world. That's what makes life so exciting sometimes. SO PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!

I was in the locker room today and I just got out of the shower. I'm over near my locker trying to pretend I'm not sizing myself up to anyone else. What is it about those skinny guys sometimes??? Anyway, I took a nice hot shower so I was feeling good about having controlled my shrinkage when I turn to my left where the showers are...

I see a man butt naked coming out of the shower in a wheelchair. I have never seen that before. At first I say to myself why is that man naked in a wheelchair. Duh! Then I see that he's soaked and I begin to wonder if he ruined the chair at all by getting it wet. Good thing it's not that cold today or that shit would freeze and he'd be stuck to it. Nothing a warm pee can't get you out of though ...

I guess I never expected to turn around and see a grown, wet, naked man in a wheelchair this afternoon. It really took me off guard.

Yes, I stared! Quick Story I can't help it. :)

I guess I never thought about the fact that he had to take a shower. Just weird. I wish I could have taken a picture to show you guys, but I think I would have been thrown out of the Health Club. Surprisingly this is by far one of my tamest encounters with a wheelchair folk.

POP QUIZ!

Which one of the following have I done to a person in a wheelchair???

A) Caught one stealing from my store and pushed them into the street out of control with their arms flailing while a cop looked on, looked at me, smiled, and walked away.

B) Picked one up and made them stand and walk because I knew they were full of shit and then promptly muscled them out of my life.

C) Met someone in a wheelchair and shook their hand and said, "Very nice to meet you, don't get up."

D) Gave one a matchbox and told them, "Now here's some matches, now go light yourself on fire."

E) Stared at a naked man in a wheelchair and admired his girth.

F) All of the above.

For those out there that know me, this is an easy one.

Yea, and some of you think I'm going to ugly girl hell, but there's also a shit load of wheelies down there waiting for me there too.

Rant...

Don Imus.

Now most of you must know by now what has been happening. I am in no way defending him. In fact I never really liked him, his show or what he stood for, but because of that doesn't mean I feel that he should be punished like this.

Yes, what he said was ignorant. Yes, he apologized. Yes, he was to serve a suspension. Fine, but now he's been fired...

First of all there is a thing such as free speech. Doesn't mean you can make ignorant comments and expect people not to jump down your throat, but it's still a right. My issue with this whole fiasco is the double standard hypocrisy that exists in this country. Why it seems that certain individuals and groups can say one thing and others cannot. As far as I am concerned, everything and everyone should be on an equal playing field and everyone should be held accountable equally. Still amazes me that certain individuals get the witch hunt while others have a free pass, if not multiple. I mean, who decides who gets burned and who doesn't? Is there a meeting once a year and their names are on a dead pool type list. Oh wait, he finally fucked up! Lets ruin his life and others around him...

Look it, we are all shit on at some point. We all have been victims of generalization at some point as well. It sucks, but sometimes you just have to laugh. There is no way around it. I'm not gonna stand here and pretend I know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes because I can't and I won't. But if this country doesn't stop working from the back to front then nothing will ever change. Is it right? No, but it's reality.

I really feel bad for all the employees that worked for that show in some form. Now they're jobless with a family to provide for. No one seems to care about them. Don Imus has his money and eventually will be back. What's more important though? Making an example out of someone who made a mistake or hurting hundreds of others and their families for his stupidity.

That's all I have to say.

P.S. That baseball game sucked! One freaking hit. You gotta be kidding me...

Lazy Days...

I dunno, for some reason this past week and a half I've been extremely lazy. I've been tired and unmotivated to go to the gym, write, eat, you name it.

Catdoggg says it might be that I have been getting too much sleep. I'm tired though. My body is the one deciding to sleep more. I think that maybe the lack of exercise along with a bad diet are helping as well. What am I suppose to do? Get in a fight with myself. Of course that would be kind of funny. Might be a little bit like this. Too bad they don't have a pill yet that can break me out of this laziness that has overcome my system? Oh that's right, if they did there would be no more unemployment... :)

I'm dragging myself to the gym today and then to work. Just have to fight through it, but tonight I get to go to my first Red Sox game of the season... It's Dice K Mania Gonna be pretty exciting.

Some of you know that the Catdoggg works for the Red Sox so membership does have it's privileges. Hopefully I can be doing this again at the end of this season.

I think I was drunk in this pic and when you're drunk and holding a very heavy World Series Trophy and the owner of the team is to my left and his wife is taking our pic, just a bit nervoous.

Omerta

The Easter Bunny broke my fingers..

Can't type today.

Slide Time

Not too long ago, Babydog went to the playground. He seemed to be more interested in the other kids than anything else. All we cared about was throwing him down the slide and taking pictures. I think he liked it...

Who brought the cool kid?


WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


WHOA!!!


You like my foot in your face? Then put me back on the slide, cause I LIKE IT!

Quick Story...

I was going through my daily blog ritual and I came across a story at
The Boob Lady which reminded me of my own story.

I remember one time when I was at a Red Sox game with my buddy Wee-Man(sometimes referred to as Shawn or Obie). Why we call him Wee-man is another story...

We were on Yawkey Way smoking a cig (God I miss sucking those down) and this disturbingly, ugly girl walked by us.

Now I don't think Wee-Man noticed, partly because he's vertically challenged, but I sure as hell did.

You know when you see something, whatever it is and you can't stop staring at it. It's almost worse than staring at someone who is attractive. You seem to have better control at that. But someone who is odd, ugly, deformed, and you can't help but stare. It's awful. I'm awful. :)

So she walks by and shes standing about 20 feet away from my right. Wee-Man and I are chatting , but I keep looking over. Well, I look over one too many times. She thinks I'm looking at her. Looking at her!!! As my son would say, "Uh-Oh!"

She starts to smile at me. I start to react the same way Homer does when he thinks about Marge's sisters. I can feel the bile coming up my throat. She starts to walk over to me.

Now this could be Overheard in Boston...

me) Oh no!

wee) What?

me) I just stared at the sun.

wee) (looking up) It's not sunny out.

me) No this ugly girl to my right, she's coming over here.

wee) Where is sh...

me) Oh my God she's getting closer!

wee) Wh...

me) Kiss me.

wee) WHAT?

me) Kiss me quick!!!

wee) NOOOOO

At this point I lean over and pretend to maul him. I didn't know what to do! He starts laughing. I start laughing so hard I didn't even notice I spilled my beer.

I didn't turn around to see what happened next, but I assume that when she was upon us and heard us laughing about kissing each other to keep her away she probably crawled away...

I know it's kind of mean, but I still think it's funny.

From that moment I have been very careful to sneak my peeks. Ya never know when you might have to kiss your best friend to escape something...

Dodgeball Summary

Coors Light Draft $2.75 a pint....

Dodgeball...

At my health club they have a ton of activities for you. With over 75 classes a week, 2 swimming pools, 15 tennis courts, basketball court, indoor track, full weight room, more treadmills then I've ever seen and countless fitness experts at your disposal, it's hard not to find something you like.

Well, on every first Tuesday of every month they play dodgeball at 8pm. I think the best sign I saw promoting it was, "Need Couples Therapy? Come Play Dodgeball!"

Now, I've always loved dodgeball as a kid and I'd like to say that at one point I was probably very good at it. A hundred a fifty pounds later, I'm not too sure. I'm not as nimble as I once was. In fact, I never really was nimble in the first place.

You see, the guy who works there who sets up the dodgeball has been promoting a Dodgeball Tourney later this month. He's had a T.V. out playing that awful Dodgeball movie , trying to motivate people to join up.

He's been harassing me for a while now. See, "Elton" is a little too happy if you know what I mean. He's very nice, but sometimes I get the feeling I'm being undressed. Hey, I'll take that as a compliment. In fact I was doing hyper-extensions the other day and when my head was down in my movement, someone walked by me and said, "Great Breathing!" It was "Elton" Maybe as his job as a trainer he was impressed by my breathing skills because most people at the gym have no idea what they are doing, or more likely it was that because my ass was up in the air and I was breathing deeply.... You get the idea.

Regardless, I am intrigued with the idea of playing dodgeball. Every time he sees me he mentions it.

I wonder if its his balls I'll be dodging...

Anyway, so I said to him that I'll go tonight and see how things work out for me before I sign up for the tourney. I'm even trying to get my buddy Silent Steve to go with me.

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS!!!!

Little worried because I haven't thrown a ball in a while. For some of you out there you know what I mean. The repercussions of non throwing usage can screw your arm up for a while. Especially when you go all out all of a sudden. Plus, I can't really afford to hurt it because of work, the baby, and being able to push "Elton" away from me.

Wish me luck so I don't hurt anything, "Elton" doesn't find me alone in the showers, and I get to nail someone in the head....

Now if the DodgeBall Tourney was going to be like this, I wouldn't hesitate to sign up...

STRIPPER DODGEBALL

SFW EVERYTHING IS BLURRED OUT :(

You've Been Tagged...

This is so gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. Some people like this shit, some don't but I guess it's a good way to learn more about each other. YEEECK! So here it is....

Three Things That Scare Me

- People with no arms or legs driving
- Hillary Clinton becoming President
- Axis of Evil

Three People Who Make Me Laugh

- Myself
- Shawn (Obie)
- My Son

Three Things I Love

- Bacon
- People watching
- My son

Three Things I Hate

- The Media
- Idiots who trick out their 85 Honda's thinking their cool but won't drive the speed limit cause their afraid it might hurt their car because they have smaller tires on it than I did on my Pinewood Derby car.
- The Yankees!

Three Things I Don’t Understand

- Stupidity
- People who are followers
- Life

Three Things On My Desk

- My computer
- Sock Dog
- Bottle of Tuaca

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die

- Make movies/get back into acting
- Travel more of the world
- Party at the Playboy Mansion

Three Things I Can Do

- Sing and do the Humpty Dance
- The best Chris Tucker impersonation (Not bad for a white guy)
- Kick your ass in tennis

Three Things I Can’t Do

- Depending on who you ask, probably a lot...
- Dunk a basketball
- Stay within the lines

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To

- Your gut instinct
- Appetite for Destruction- Guns and Roses
- Party Boy Song- Jackass

Three Things You Should Never Listen To

- The Great Gazoo
- Your Doppelganger
- Your Parents :)

Three Things I’d Like To Learn (but won’t)

- Kung-Fu
- Speak as many languages as possible
- Solve a Rubik's cube without cheating

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid

- G.I. Joe
- Benny Hill
- Star Blazers

Three Blogs I’ve tagged

- FuriousBall
- Liz
- Scottsdale Princess

Which Way To The Free Clinic?

Between being extremely busy at work these last few days. Along with taking care of a 1 year old menace. I haven't had much free time as of late. Then to top things off, I've been tagged... To me it's like getting herpes.

You're reading someones post and it's creative. You finally finish up and at the end you've been told your tagged.

"Gee, that was an incredible night PapaDog. You really rocked my world. I'm glad you enjoyed our time together and oh by the way, I gave you herpes."

WTF! Now I have to take extra time from my normally busy schedule to do this tag. Fine I can accept that. It was from a friend, but I now have to spread the herp to 3 new people.

I don't want to be that guy. It used to annoy me back in the day when you would get those mass fucking e-mails about the same stupid jokes, or those annoying chain letters. I can't even tell you how many people I stopped communicating with because of that shit and NOW not only have I been tagged, but I have to tag 3 others...

I hate to do this to anyone, but would anyone like to jump on a grenade for me? I only need 2 volunteers instead of 3 because I'll be passing one along to my sister. She's the crime boss when it comes to chain letters... PAYBACK! Unfortunately I know she'll enjoy it.

If not then I'll have to do a lottery on who'll get picked. Oh, I have no problem sending it to anyone else's crime boss. Let me know.

They say 1 and 4 people have been tagged! You can still live a normal life...

The Inspiration for Twin Beds...

Yesterday we brought Babydog to an activity center. I guess that's what you would call it. Basically it was large rented out room with donated toys, and no sense of order. With its ghetto fabulous decor I felt like I was onstage at the Jerry Springer Show.

Not only was it a total rip off price wise, but I learned something new.

Other kids sucks...

There was one bratty little girl who was driving around in a car running people over and crashing into everything. I'm going to guess she was around 5 years old. Big, mean looking girl. Wavy locks and a sinister grin. She drove up to me, stopped and threatened to run me over for fun. She drove away laughing. I swear I saw her give me the finger. Then she did a drive by tongue sticking out which was witnessed by the Catdoggg. At one point she drove up to my son took the ball out of his hand threw it away and then drove off. Oh did I forget to mention that she would just throw things for fun and didn't care that there were 1 year olds walking around. I seriously wanted to open the front door and let her drive into oncoming traffic.

"Gee, I'm sorry I don't know what happened. I was going outside for air and she ran over my foot and drove off. Aren't you her mother? The one whose supposed to pay attention to what she's doing? Oh that's right, you don't caaaare. No wonder you're not married!"

Oh that was mean, Ha Ha

There was one little boy, actually he wasn't so little. Maybe 2. I swear he could have been the son of Sloth from Goonies.
Every time I touched something, or I wanted to touch something friggin Sloth would come over and take it from me. Literally he would rip it right out of my arms poke at it or whatever he did and then toss it. And then he'd do it again. If I wasn't so afraid of him i would have fought back, but I was scared he might bite me or something. Oh, Sloth had a little sister there too. She was developing her Sloth like appearance as time went by. Creepy.

Then there was another ugly boy who was around 4 that wanted to bash my son into oblivion if he touched his precious blue ball. Little fucker doesn't know that he'll have plenty of blue balls later with that mug of his.

Then there were the little girls in the house playing in the kitchen not wanting to let my son inside. When he did finally get inside they ran and shut all the doors and blocked our view. I mean what were they planning on doing in there? One of the girls was the driving brat. Yea, I'm gonna trust them alone with my son. Fucking kids...

Then there was this little girl pushing an empty stroller back and forth the whole time. Something about it seemed very weird to me. Every time she passed me I expected to see the stroller full of empty cans...

Then in the back corner was a little fenced in area that look liked it held goats from a petting zoo. There was a sign on it for crawlers only. I guess it's so the bratty little bitch can't run any infants over. Alas, the brat kept running in and out of there at full speed for fun. Good Job Mommy!

So basically we over paid for an hours worth of controlled chaos. I want Babydog to have interaction with other children, but not from over tired older brats with no parental supervision. Plus, there was Sloth...


Oh yea, Babydog did have fun. He liked the slides and he loved the sandbox. More importantly, he didn't give a rats ass about any of the other demons running about.

Now that i think of it, maybe I had more fun than I thought...

Where's My Free T-Shirt???

At least one or two nights a week I stay late at work. Mostly because I am trying to get organized. Sometimes I prepare some pre-orders and generally I try to clean up the mess of others.

Now most nights are uneventful. Except sometimes I get to verbally abuse some drunk who wants me to sell them alcohol at 12am.

"Hey the lights are off, the door is locked, latest anyone is allowed to stay open is 11pm, we close at 10, oh yea and the lights are off and the door is locked. What part of closed do you not understand?"

The only chance I'll open that store after business hours are when friends or family are coming by or if the Hawaiian Tropic bus breaks down in front. So it's slim to none that some random will ever make it in.

So this night was different because something really, really, exciting happened to me. Around 10:30pm I was planning my attack for chores. We had some breakage building up and I decided to conquer that. Working fast I will admit I wasn't paying attention, I reached into a broken beer box. When I took my hand out...

A) There was a cockroach on it.
B) I was bleeding.
C) My hand was stuck to something.
D) There was a leech attached.
E) Spiders... EEECK!
D) All of the above.

Sad thing is all of them are true at one point during my illustrious career, but this time my hand was drenched in blood. My own blood this time. Now I've cut myself before at work, fights, you name it, but I have never seen this much blood from my own body before.

I rush over to the bathroom to clean it off so I can inspect it. Uh Oh! The back of my hand toward the side of the pinkie finger was sliced about 2 inches in length. About half an inch wide and deep enough for me to scream, "Oh Shit!"

Off I go to the emergency room. We all know how much that can suck when all I have is a bloody hand and am not a priority. After about an hour they finally took me in. I ended up with 13 stitches. Not too bad. The doctor said I was just millimeters away from my tendons and nerves. LUCKY!!! Speaking of the doctor, this brings me to my next point.

After I was done being stitched up. I came to a realization that emergency room doctors and strippers are quite alike.

First off, after the spot you, they talk you up like they actually care.

"Hey, how are you?" "What happened?"

Then they ask you about yourself and what you do. How long you've been doing it and so on. Killing time before the next song comes on to dance to or in this case when the supplies come into the room.

Then they get to work. Telling you about their lives and how it correlates with yours. They try to find similarities to make you feel one with them. They look you in the eye most of the time.

Then when the song is over or the stitching is done. They get up and go. No goodbyes, no phone numbers no nothing. Weren't you my best friend for the past 5 minutes??? It's either pony up for another song or lacerate your other hand for me or I'm moving on to the next customer.

They don't even acknowledge you when you are leaving. Trying to say a quick thanks. Nothing. Like you didn't exist. It's very sad.

I didn't even get a free t-shirt. :(



Anyway, here's a picture of my hand the next day. Don't look if you might be a bit squeamish. I don't think it's too bad. Trust me, it looked a lot worse when it happened.


p.s. Kiki, what am I doing wrong???

It's The Little things You Do...Uh!

In the past 2 weeks my little guy has become more of a little boy. It amazes me that all of a sudden he understands things. He gets it.

I'm not talking about anything too dramatic. Not like he just learned how to drive a stick. Even though that would be great since daddy still has no freaking clue.

They may seem small, but they make me smile.

1) Instead of me chasing him around the house, he decided to chase me and with a great, big smile saying Da Da Da Dee, Da Da Da Dee.

2) He likes to open and close doors now. He understand how they work and understands that the door knob will open the ones that are not ajar. Thank God he's still too small to reach them, but he tries...

3) He always loved that stupid Sloth from that show "It's a Big Big World" At the end, the annoying creature touches the screen to give a high 5 so to speak. Even though he only has 4 fingers. Babydog actually reached out and gave him 5 back onto the screen. Cute!

On a side note...

Have you seen this stupid thing? This Sloth character is totally on drugs. Wicked Hop Head. He had to be based on Keanu Reeves as well. Cause the thing talks like him. Whoa! and Excellent! Kewl! Yea Dude! Kind of annoying to me. Not sure if I really want a pot smoking sloth teaching my son how to get along with all the animals in the tree. Actually, that doesn't sound too bad. Meeeeeellooooow
SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!!

4) He understands to put lids back onto things and recognizes where they go.

He's become very neat. Which is good right now. When he plays with a certain toy, he likes to put the pieces into a bucket and then put the lid on it. In fact he ripped off the table on his high chair (bought at Ikea) played with it and then put it back onto the high chair when he was done. It was backwards, but it's the thought that counts.

5) He answers the phone. If the phone rings he makes a B line toward it and will try to answer it. We have multiple phones for him to play with since we knew early on that he loved them. He'll pick one up and pretend to talk on it. He got that from Mommy...

Today he even tried to put back one of his play phones onto the cradle of the actual phone. He couldn't figure out why is wouldn't fit, but he left it by its side. Good enough.


6) He definitely has the petting of the dogs down. Before you were never sure if he would grab or pet, but recently he is all about the petting. I still see the look in the dogs eyes. They sure as hell don't trust him yet.

7) He opens his mouth wide and lets out a loud "AAAAAAAH" when he goes in the bathroom because he knows he is getting his teeth brushed. So funny.

He knows the difference between that and the bath. Mostly because he's naked for the bath. Which by the way he really enjoys. I wonder how long that will last???

8) He likes to wave bye bye when he wants out of his high chair.

9) He makes the best Southern Comfort Manhattan's with a touch of honey. That boy was born to be a mixologist.

10) My all time favorite so far. He has learned to say Uh Oh. He hasn't really used it in the right context yet until today. He likes to spin around on one of our backs. Catdoggg spun him around and he was laughing hysterically. I'm definitely going to get video of this soon. Toward the end he was dizzy and his head started to bob. He was still smiling. Catdoggg put him down and you could tell he was fighting it. He was on all fours and he tried to stand up and just fell hardcore and flopped onto his back. He actually flopped into the old tray from his high chair and he held onto it as it fell on him. Before we could react he just looks up at lets out an "Uh OOOOH" We died laughing...Uh Oh

Rules of Engagement

So I'm relatively new to the Blogger world.

I created a site a while back so I could share my life and the adventures of being a new dad. I've recently become more aware of this so called blogger community. It really seems to be a world of it's own.

Along the way I have developed some blogger friendships and some budding relationships. It's so hard for me to make any new friends in my line of work that I can't wait to meet new people on here. Who would have thunk it? God I think I'm turning into a sissy...

I've come across more and more sites that I enjoy. It amazes me how many people are out there doing this. I thought I knew, but I didn't know shit. So here's my question...

On my blogroll(which until recently didn't know what that meant) I have sites that I enjoy and some that are friends. Now, after developing these relationships and investing some time into their sites... If the effort is no longer there, ie. the content is no longer being updated at a normal rate. Is it ok to delete someone from your blogroll???

I'm sure it's done, but I kind of feel bad about it. I feel like I just decided to no longer be friends with someone just because we haven't talked in a while. We all know that's bullshit. When you see someone you haven't seen for a while, you always pick up where you've left off. Like nothing changed. True Peeps...

What is protocal? There are new sites I enjoy and would like to share with everyone, but I don't want to have one of those ridiculous blogrolls running down the side of my page. I'm not into making a link into a seperate page. No offense to anyone out there.

I guess the easiest way to do it would be to go onto those sites tell them to UPDATE THEIR SHIT or face deletion...

I dunno. Any thoughts?

I say this like anyone even cares about whose on my blogroll. Most of my hits are from me refreshing my page. Ha Ha...

I'm Still Stupid

Yes, ANOTHER change in my blog. That's 3 in 2 days.

I think I might be satisfied right now. Satisfied or am I giving up? More like giving up. At one point I actually started a new blog with a different server. They made it so simple to add an image to your header. The problem I had was when I imported all my data from Blogger, none of my pictures and videos followed. Plus I had to start from scratch on a lot of things and this site seemed to be for more advanced individuals than myself.

Basically I don't have the patience to learn anything new right now. That site is still up if you can find it. Same name. It shouldn't be to hard for some of ya.

When I did figure out how to add the image, I couldn't change the text color of my blog title to differ from my text of the whole blog. So colors either blended into the header, or the text in the body itself just looked retarded.

So this is what I settled on.

I don't get why Blogger is so difficult. I know there are more template novices like me out there. For Christ sake, just make it easier!!! I had to go on a blog from freaking India this time to figure stuff out. Yesterday it was South Korea.

It's guess it's like that old saying. Or it might be a new saying. I have no freaking clue, but you won't learn unless you try.

Bullshit! I still don't know anything. I just got lucky this time and didn't destroy everything I've done for the past 2 years.

I'll probably get some comments about how Blogger is for dummies like me and it's the easiest one out there. You know what? I don't care! Can you tell me the difference from a CHÂTEAU PÉTRUS Pomerol vintage 71' to a CHÂTEAU MARGAUX Margaux 57'??? I think not.

Well, I guess you could use the Internet to find out. BUT THAT DOESN'T COUNT!!!

:)

Blogger Beware

As you can tell my Blog has had yet another makeover. The problem is that this was not intentional. All I was trying to do was add an image to my header.

There's a sight I have been looking at that helped with the codes, but do you think it would work for me?

NOT!

At first the image was added above the header. It was huge. So big that you had to scroll down a quarter of the way to even get to the beginning of my blog.

Then I was able to get rid of it and somehow add it into the header. It was still huge, but at least the text was over the image. Kind of what I wanted, but it didn't fill up the whole part and I had an inch of blue on both sides. Kind of like bookends. Looked rather stupid.

I was able to minimize the image into the header, but yet still had an issue with the blue bookends. Of course I have no idea what I am doing at this point. Kind of winging it. Trial and error. I'm also writing everything down that I change so I don't get too confused.

Well...

I guess I changed a little too much.

I ended up blanking my blog so half of what you saw was white, hence you saw half of nothing of what I knew was there. If that makes any sense?

So I gave up after 2 and a half hours. I backed up my original codes, but I thought I read somewhere that it would be easier to do it on a three column format. Well, this is what I used as a template and it doesn't look like three columns to me. In fact none of them did.

In fact the part of the html that I was following instructions for didn't seem to apply to this template. So I gave up...

I should have paid more attention to this shit when I was younger.

It's not too bad is it?

Sorry

Not really feeling it lately. Going through some shit. I'll try to post when I can.
In the meantime, check out this video of the boy eating a whole banana for the first time. It's 2 minutes long so if you have the time to waste check it out. I think he's adorable...

Yo!

I didn't forget about ya. Just trying to get myself situated from my trip. I'll be post this evening some details of the bachelor party in the Bahamas....